An Ogrewhelming Vacation
by TakeMeByTheBlock
Summary: A group of friends set out to find the deadliest catch of their life. All ages can enjoy this heart-warming tale!


Michael awoke up from his repulsive, cobweb-ridden bed to the sound of his brother, Nate, blasting My Little Pony on his laptop. The audio was a cacophony of childish voices and squeaky sounds. Michael was 6'8'' and known by his peers to have a large arsenal of illegal weapons. Immediately after he was abruptly stirred from his peaceful sleep, he covered his ears with his hands. Michael sighed and said, "Great. He's watching kid shit again," and walked into the kitchen. "Nate, what the hell are you watching?" Michael yelled towards Nate's bedroom. "Silence, scum!" Nate replied. "Fine," Michael said to himself, and proceeded to cook eggs.

Nate guffawed at the ponies prancing around on his screen. Nate was 6'7'' with a big bushy beard and navy-blue eyes. He always wore aviators and a tuxedo which made him look like a bad-ass. He also had beautifully styled hair, which he proudly declared his mane. Whenever he walked down the street, all the ladies would gawk at his presence, and wolf-whistle toward him. He always scoffed at those types because they were just desperate sluts.

After he finished the episode he was watching, he stood up from his chair, and walked into the kitchen where his brother was. "Hey, Michael, you're so fucking loud," he said to Michael. "I'm loud?" Michael loudly questioned. "You're the one watching porn on your computer!" Nate, riled up, angrily reacted, "PORN? THIS IS NOT FUCKING PORN. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. IT'S ART!" "Yeah man," a voice said behind them. "Jacob?" Michael asked. Jacob was a 5'5'' sexy Minecraft and Roblox connoisseur. He was so epic at video games that he beat three games of Survival Games in only 2 hours. "What are you doing here?" Nate confusedly asked. "Oh, me and Ryan wanted to know if you wanted to go camping today. I heard there was a rabid ogre that is running loose at Swamp Park." Michael, eyes twinkling, excitedly said, "That sounds fun as heck man, let's go tonight!" "I'm afraid I won't be joining you guys," Nate somberly said. "Why not?" Ryan shouted. Ryan was 5'8'' and was a hardcore druggie. His favorite drugs consisted of LSD, cocaine, and mushrooms. His face was so disfigured that you could take him for a piranha. Nate, guiltily looking down at the floor, then at the ceiling, explained, "Because..I'm going to play Farcry." The response in the room was mixed. Michael and Ryan groaned, and Jacob was pointlessly dabbing and rubbing Nate's hair. When Nate left the room, the three remaining beings could hear a car pull up to their apartment parking lot. Michael, Jacob, and Ryan anxiously pondered who had arrived. "You guys are fucking idiots!" Nate shouted behind his closed door. "They're obviously not coming here." Ryan yelled back, "I have a goddamn feeling, okay!" A second later, there was a loud knock on the door (A fancy person such as Nate and myself would call it a "rap"). They all stared at the door in silence. There was another knock, and another. "Open the door already!" they all shouted to each other. Jacob shook himself from his trance, walked to the front door, and opened it. "Oh, hi, Chris." Christopher was 6'4'' and was a gaming god. With his skills, he had many online girlfriends, but they were all bots. In real life, however, he was a train wreck. His overly massive body drooped like a gangsters pants, with his shoulders hunched over. He typically would wear a blue sweatshirt, with his hair greased up. His signature catch phrase to the group was, "Fuck off," when they would try to heckle him. "Hey, Jacob. What are you doing here?" Christopher asked. "We're gonna visit Swamp Park and try to find the ogre that's run loose there!" "Hell yeah, I freaking love ogres. I'm a huge fan of Shrek," Christopher exclaimed agitatedly.

Michael silently whispered to Christopher, Ryan, and Jacob, "We're gonna need to figure out a way to get Nate to willingly come with us." Ryan had a dull, bewildered look on his face for a moment, but then his face lit up with excitement and said, "I have an idea. Let's tell Nate that we're buying him a computer." "That's genius!" Michael responded. "Hey, Nate! For your early birthday we're going to buy you a computer!" "It won't be my birthday for another five months you retard!" "Just come with us you bastard. We're going to buy you a laptop, for goish sake!" Jacob annoyedly said. "Alright, fine." Nate slowly arose from his chair like a sloth and slowly inched out of his bedroom, and into the kitchen.

When they all got into Michael's car, he rapidly locked the door and started driving. They cruised down the road, twenty miles over the speed limit, blazing past all races: black, native American, taiwani, muslim, it was an enraging sight. When they passed the tech store, Nate uttered loudly, "Hey, dumbass, you passed the shop." Ryan responded slyly, "Oh, it's a really good priced one. It's a little ways from here," achieving a "Alright, sounds reasonable," from Nate. Jacob then high-fived Ryan saying, "Whaddy-Doo-Mane!" Christopher was playing video games on his phone, uncomfortably sitting with his legs crossed over his head. Michael, while driving, would occasionally peek at him and touch his grib. (Oxford Definition: The grib is the fat located next to the rib and under the armpit.) Chris would unfailingly be extremely irked by this and start kicking around incoherently, whilst screeching "Fuck off!"

After a good hour, they finally arrived at the campsite. It was a secluded area, off the side of a highway. "Michael, what the hell is this? This isn't a tech store!" Nate immediately yelled upon pulling off. Michael calmly responded, "Okay, Nate, we wanted to take you camping because you wouldn't get off your stupid little laptop playing Meep City or whatever. It's going to be fun, come on. If you want to go back, you can walk." Grunting, Nate muttered, "Fine, but if this is a shit place, then I'm going back to the car," harshly slapping his hands on his tuxedo. Jacob, realizing Nate was wearing his usual attire, asked Ryan, "Should we have told Nate to change?" "Nah, he'll be fine. Yo, he's a ritzy fellow, he has the money to wash it when he gets home," Ryan said while taking a joint out of his pocket. "Want some, Jacob?" "Uh, no thanks."

It was a good mile walk to the actual plot they would be settling in for the night but when they finally reached the ideal spot, they set up their tent, and promptly started cooking some Smores." "Alright, so why the hell are we here again?" Nate annoyedly asked. Jacob exclaimed, "Well, we are here because we are out to catch the biggest and most fierce ogre there has ever been." "Wait, those things exist?" Nate asked, obviously confused. "Yes," Jacob said continuing. "Legend has it, after the first Shrek film was released to the public, strange mythical brute-like creatures started randomly spawning. Immediately, the FBI caught on and exterminated these monsters and their spawner, but there is still one roaming around, and he is the king of them all. "Shrek?" Christopher asked, nervously. "You got it," Jacob answered. "The reason I believe it's living here is because in the movie he lives in a swamp, and where are we now?" "Swamp Park!" the others shouted, intrigued. Michael said, "Well, we should get to bed soon, so we can get up early tomorrow and hunt for him. Do you have a plan to where we will look first, Jacob?" Jacob giggled to himself. "What?" Nate demanded. "Haha, I got you!" Jacob averred. "Shrek doesn't exist. I just wanted to go camping." Ryan's eyes flared with anger. "But why did you take us to Swamp Park?" "Because it just makes for a better lie." Michael, laughing it off said, "Well, at least we're outside. I brought a few AK's. If you guys want, tomorrow morning we could shoot them." The five guys thought they were going shooting in the morning, but something slightly different would happen, and they were about to find out. "Well, we probably should hit the sack. I'm going to bed anyways," Christopher said. "The only thing you'll be hitting is your dick, and we'll all get to see it," Ryan said. "Fuck off," Chris bellowed, half laughing. They all got up from their seats around the fire and entered their separate tents.

Exactly, when midnight struck, all the five were woken up by a loud roar. "Is that a bear?" Christopher asked, teeth chattering. "I sure hope not, I don't want to get this tux dirty," Nate wittily replied. In the midst of all their petrified state, a large creature emerged from the forest. He had gigantic feet, enormous stature, and was as green as grass. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP," the creature roared out while stamping his feet. "Shrek!?" they all cried out. "Now, normally I would tear you all limb to limb because you are in my land, see," Shrek expressed, as he was slowly walking towards Christopher. "But you guys seem like a good time." "Guys?" Nate asked. "Guys! I'm feeling, OH AAAAAH!" releasing an overwhelming orgasm. "AAAAAAH! Is it this weed or am I getting incredibly horny?" Ryan pondered, while touching his penis. Instantly, everyone else started orgasming loudly and walking toward Shrek. "Please give us a good time!" Michael pleaded with Shrek. "Oh alright," Shrek answered, seductively. "Jacob, you look like you want this dick. Come over here if you know what I'm saying," Shrek spoke silently with a sexy wink. "Holy shit! I'm doing this! I'm actually freaking doing this!" Jacob excitedly shouted, walking over to Shrek, swaying his hip back and forth. "Ooh I like how you move young man. How old are you?" "Uhh I'm 14." "Oh, even better," Shrek responded, then immediately pinning Jacob onto the ground. Shrek took his massive penis and forcefully inserted it into Jacob's crying asshole. With each load of cum that rapidly entered into Jacob, the more moaning and bleeding that oozed out of his anus. "OH OH OH OH SHREKY! CUM IN ME HARDER!" Jacob cried as Shrek thrusted faster and faster into him. At the apex of Shrek's thrust, he spontaneously pulled his cock out of him and busted a load all over his white creamy pubescent face. When all the nut finally exited Shrek's cock, he turned to the others who stood before him in awe. "Well, who wants to get it next?" "I do!" Christopher shouted first." "No worry." Shrek answered with a smile. "I can do you all a good service right now at the same time." Christopher bended over with his asscheeks exposed, and let Shrek's cum overflow the rectum with cum. "I will take your dick any day over my stupid iPhone, throwing it into the fire, while getting penetrated by the ogre. Shrek then pushed Nate's head towards him and stuck his throbbing cock in Nate's mouth. As Nate's mouth was loaded with Shrek's onion juice, Nate caressed Shrek's penis hairs, and asked, "MFMMMFMFMFMM DMFMDFMDF?!" "What, you say?" "MMFMMDMD..." Nate coughed. "How do you get your pubes so well trimmed. "Yours aren't so bad," Shrek said, then proceeded to stuff his cock into Michael. Michael was hesitant at first, but when Shrek inserted his massive cock into his earlobe, Michael, incredibly surprised, ogled at Shrek and said, "I didn't know I was gay, but now I'm really fucking into it. Go into my ass please daddy!" Shrek slapped Michael inserted his 5-inch wide finger into Michael's ass, and with the other hand he stimulated Michael's rock-hard cock. "Holy shit, I've been missing out on a-lot. Ryan, you gotta try this out!" When Michael's cum session was over, Shrek walked over to Ryan, laid him down on the damp rocks, and humped him while snorting some of Ryan's cocaine. "Damn, this shit good," Shrek uttered in his sexy accent. "I need to go to the shop and get some of this shit." After, all of them had their solidified share of the brutely beast's onion juice, Shrek masculinely suggested, "Alright, ladies, let's do this together. You on the bottom," he said pointing to Nate. Nate immediately threw himself to the ground face first, with his asscheeks exposed to Shrek. Shrek relaxedly positioned himself with his cock in Nate. Michael and Ryan each inserted their comparably small dicks into Shrek at the same time, and Christopher and Jacob were on each side of Shrek's hips, stroking his penis, while kissing each other. Jacob and Christopher were clearly enjoying themselves. In fact, all of them were. Once, they were all settled in each other, they made eerie and queer noises. "Ooh, isn't this worth your trip, Natey boy?" Shrek asked, already knowing Nate's answer. "Mhm," Nate nasally vocalized. After a good hour of this orgasmic orgy, they all let off of each other. Shrek then laid down facing the stars and whispered, "Hey, fellas. Come here, and stimulate me, if you will." They all came on the floor, and crawled toward Shrek, with their hand ready. "Three, two, one, as fast as you can!" Shrek shouted, as all five violently jerked him off. "You guys are actually not bad," he said, while cumming at an insane rate. After only five minutes, their whole vicinity was overflown with cum. The fire was extinguished, and there was white everywhere. The trees were so drenched in cum, that they leaned over. When all the boys were exhausted from masturbating Shrek, they all positioned their heads on his bulging chest. Shrek's penis protruded harder than before, and was so long that a moose couldn't reach it if he tried. "Man, this has been the best experience I've had in my whole life," Michael affirmed to the others. "Hell. Fucking. Yeah," Nate said confidently. After they all expressed their endearing comments, they all fell asleep.

"That's a wrap!" the director yelled. "All we have to do is edit the thing and Shrek 5 will be a hundred percent complete."


End file.
